My Heart is Yearning for Your Love
My beautiful experience reading "This Could Be Us" by Kennedy Ryan
Through eyes blurred by tears I write this post. It is not often that I am deeply emotionally moved by fiction books. I haven’t felt this way since I read “The Bluest Eye” by Toni Morrison. Oh Pecola, my sweet Pecola you will never leave my mind or my heart. But here I am, hugging this book with tears streaming down my face after reading the last sentence of “This Could Be Us” by Kennedy Ryan. The book is from her Skyland series which began with “Before I Let Go” (another book my heart longs to read for the first time again). In this second novel in the series, we learn more about the life of Soledad Barnes (later returning to her maiden name Charles) as she navigates the multi-layered betrayal from her husband Edward. She is ultimately left in a situation where she must navigate being a single mother of three daughters and exploring the nature of her relationship (?) with Judah Cross. When you read the novel, that question mark will make a lot more sense. Her divorce leads her down a journey of self-partnering and a #datingmyselfchallenge. As her story unfolds, we enter into the world of her emotions at their highest and lowest. We see her rage embody the statement “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned”. But Soledad, in the midst of her struggle, understands that the way she process what has happened to her in front of her daughters matters. So she raises her head and barrels through her new life with wisdom and creativity. With her friends Yasmen and Hendrix by her side and her sisters Lola and Nayeli hosting Baricua High Council meetings via FaceTime; she realizes she always had everything she needed.
In the midst of working through the feelings of betrayal, loneliness and much more, Judah Cross enters the picture in a more intimate way. He is an attentive, pensive, patient, endearing, intentional man who wants to give Soledad everything he has always known she deserves. Judah is also divorced and shares twin autistic sons with his ex-wife, Tremaine. They have a co-parenting relationship that is built on supporting each other and prioritizing the needs of the boys at all times. It is one of the most beautiful forms of collaboration and I smiled every time I read their interactions. It was absolutely beautiful to see how they were able to maturely acknowledge that they were not good partners for each other but perfect parents for their boys. And its a plus that Tremaine is basically pushing Judah into Soledad’s arms (LOL)
Judah’s dynamic with Soledad is just as beautiful as it is complex. He is the accountant at the firm Edward embezzled money from but not only that… he discovered the embezzlement which ultimately landed him in prison. So for Soledad to fall in love with him was a lot for her and her daughters. But despite these complications, Solded navigates it all in a way that kept me rooting for her and them the entire time. By the end of the novel I was so so proud of the woman she had become and the ways in which she was able to make sense of everything around her and still find the most beautiful love in the midst of it all— herself. By falling in love with herself, she expanded her capacity and was able to hold enough love to share with her daughters, family, friends, and Judah. She took back the reins of her life and lived and loved on her own terms. She proved it is never too late to start over even it is survival that becomes the driving force. This novel was the embodiment of love, passion, resilience, family, true friendship, sensuality and all the other adjectives that make you say “Hell yes!”.
I am so proud of Soledad throughout the entire novel. It is as if she is so familiar to me. She looks like the women in my life who are doing the best they can with all that life has given to them. She is the sweet lemonade that is conjured up from life’s sour lemons. Kennedy Ryan knows exactly what heart strings to pull to make my heart dance after every turn of a page. This reading journey has been complex for me, but reentering it with This Could Be Us is the best “welcome back” hug I could ever recieve.
I decided to create playlists for the books I read for the rest of the year starting with this one. I hope you will read This Could Be Us by Kennedy Ryan and be encapsulated in the life of Soledad Barnes through this accompanying playlist.