How We Heal gave me permission to explore what it means to heal on my own terms. Showing up for myself throughout this journey required grace and patience.
Starting From Scratch, set the foundation for the healing practice. The first journaling prompt was an invitation to document Ten Reasons Why I Heal. I accepted Elle’s invitation and wrote my top three reasons on sticky notes. My favorite reason was:
“I am healing because my heart deserves it.”
Wow. For a while, I had not been kind to my heart nor was I honoring myself. But in that moment, I knew healing was the only way to mend the disconnection. I was prepared to engage with this book and its teachings whole-heartedly.
In Section Two, Befriending Your Fear, I was free to “identify your fear on the page.” The exercise titled The Duality of Healing and Pain walked me through creating a Venn diagram with the labels: “Pain can feel like” , “Healing can feel like”, and “They both can feel like”. As I wrote down words associated with each category, I made a connection.
“Pain can feel like weakness. Healing can feel like joy. They both can feel like growth.”
This revealed to me that growing pains on the healing journey do not represent weakness. It speaks to the transformation happening within. The joy that accompanies healing also symbolizes progression. Acknowledging this duality makes space for growth to happen. It reminded me of something Elle said during her How We Heal Book Tour about generational healing. Take a listen.
After journeying through Befriending Your Fear, I experienced a shift in Reclaiming Your Power. I was greeted with stories from various women from all walks of life who were also on their healing journey. I was most impacted by Dr. Thema Bryant. She spoke of how her healing journey brought her liberation. She found her joy and freedom in creating. Bryant writes “The arts gave me permission to heal freely and authentically.” I resonated with this because I, too, used the arts to create a safe space for me to heal.
Each section helped me develop a deeper understanding of myself. Answering questions such as: “What is my story?” gave me space to reflect on my past experiences.
Doing the inner child work in Reclaiming Your Power was an opportunity for me to nurture my inner child. Elle emphasized that “… our inner child is us”. She is 100% correct. To complete the activity Permission Slips, I had to address the areas of my life where my inner-child had taken over. It was was an opportunity to show up for myself in a different way— to assure my inner-child “I am safe.” This activity required me to give myself permission to heal, create, rest and find joy.
What stood out to me was my statement:
“I am allowed to create a new life for myself.”
How’s that for liberation?
Reading it on the page made me pause. But, speaking it out loud made it tangible. This activity encouraged me to reimagine what it means to be Jamilah.
As I reached the final section, Healing Your Heart, I knew there would be more work to complete but I felt prepared. In the opening, Elle provided the gentle reminder: “I don’t always have to be okay.”
Whew.
I realized that even when I am not okay, I can still love myself through it. It echoes Elle’s sentiment that “Self hatred isn’t fertile ground for our healing.”
Healing Your Heart was the final section but it felt like an invitation to continue my journey. I appreciate Elle for incorporating Notes to Self and Thirty Days of Gratitude into this final section. It was a reminder that the work had just begun. Through the journaling, breath-work and meditation exercises, How We Heal has become my go-to healing guide. I am grateful for Elle’s final statement to her readers. She encouragingly writes:
“I am rooting for you and cheering you on from afar. Make space for falling apart, failing and trying again. You can and will heal—slowly but surely.”